Marci | Life Inspired: Let Me Be a Lady

The incredibly inspiring woman you are about to meet is Marci, and I’m so grateful to have met her and photographed her for this project.  Life Inspired is my portrait project highlighting the amazing stories of those who have overcome a life of being held back by fear and self-doubt to live a life full of love and hope.  If you’d like to nominate someone (yourself included!) for this project, contact me today! And for more information on this project, click HERE!

Marci is a beam of sunshine.  No joke.  She’s warm-hearted and gracious, with an infectious smile.  She’s absolutely radiant.

She shares my journey of empowering and encouraging others.  Please take a moment and check out her blog, Let Me Be A Lady, and follow her on Facebook too!

I’m beyond excited to be able to share with you her story and some of her beautiful portraits.  Without further ado, Marci…

When did you realize that your life was being held back by fear or self-doubt, and what kept you from moving forward?  

Rejection. Divorce. Death. Disease. All have contributed to a place of fear and self-doubt in my life but also to my growth and transformation.

Looking back at my life, I don’t even know where it began.  I just remember hearing a voice deep down inside of myself saying that I wasn’t enough.  I certainly had family that loved me and a circle of friends but never felt quite connected with them. It was my self-doubt that kept people from truly getting close to me. I feared rejection in the worst way that I built a wall to protect myself.  I didn’t even give people a chance and when I did my fears always seemed to surface and become reality.  I was rejected and unaccepted.  I was not enough.

On the outside, I have always been well put together.  Very much into fashion, I developed my own taste and style.  Growing up you would never look at me and know how much I was breaking inside.  The voice of self-doubt just seemed to get louder and louder.  The tall, skinny smart girl could not find her place in the world, but she certainly learned to pretend that she had.

What triggered you to no longer live a life of fear or self-doubt? 

I had no mechanism for dealing with the depression that fear and self-doubt often bring. I sought to feel better in unhealthy relationships which turned into failed marriages enduring debt, infidelity and domestic violence.  Divorce was the actual window of opportunity for the growth I needed to gain self-value.  It was through being alone and having to provide for two children that I began my journey of transformation. 

What did you have to let go of in order to take the leap to move forward?

God had always been a part of my life through my upbringing.  Living in Michigan with no family but my daughter and son nudged me back into religion.  I clung to the church as hard as I could but not truly understanding the necessity for a relationship with the God we served.  I do believe however that through this time, God began to open doors of opportunity through a career path that I never dreamt of.  I developed a presentation of myself and the eagerness to learn a job without a formal college education.  My career gave me the confidence boost I had searched for all my life. 

 What did you find on the other side of fear that made it worth it?

I have learned that life’s paths come with twists, turns, dips, bumps and roadblocks.  I would certainly learn this in the most painful and excruciating moment of my life.  The loss of my baby sister, Myra.  You do not know what pain is or the strength that comes from it until you hear someone you love take her last breath.  It is a sound that I can never turn off to this day almost 15 years later. Even as I write, I weep because it is her laughter that I wish to remember not her last gasp for air. 

We lost Myra due to an autoimmune disease called lupus. Since her death, my sister, my daughter and myself have all been diagnosed with this disease.  Not only have we learned to live with it, but we have found a voice in helping others through awareness.  We honor our greatest loss by being her voice and by living for her.  She and God have led me to endeavors I never thought possible such as earning my bachelor’s in communications, writing a blog, speaking publicly and posing for pictures.

What would you tell someone (or your former self) who still feels held back by fear or self-doubt?

The pain of death brings a decision that you either choose life or death itself.  And to live is not to fear but to find self-worth in giving life your best and applauding yourself for trying.