Nicole H. | Life Inspired

I had the privilege of meeting Nicole for this Life Inspired Project of mine a while back, and am so very happy to share some of her exuberance and love of life with you!  Her warmth and loving energy are contagious, and she most definitely lights up any room she walks into.  She has big plans for herself and for the world, and she's come to a place in her life where nothing can stop her from accomplishing everything she sets out to do.  Let me tell you, she WILL be making a difference; about that, there is no doubt.  And I for one am grateful for the light she will bring to those in darkness. Nicole it was great spending time with you for your shoot and I thank you for sharing yourself with us.

You can find more about my Life Inspired Project HERE!

And without further ado, the beautiful and delightful, Nicole...

When did you realize that your life was being held back by fear or self-doubt, and what kept you from moving forward?  

I realized in early 2014 that my life was going nowhere. I was racked by self doubt, self loathing, fear and felt utterly hopeless. I had been told for years that there was only one right way, only one kind of success, my dreams could never be accomplished because they were too big, too hard, too unrealistic, etc. I was racked with indecision and had been made to believe for a long time that I couldn't do it on my own. I could never be successful - on my own or with a partner of any kind (business or romantic). I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't creative enough. I wasn't enough. Of anything. I was worthless.

What triggered you to no longer live a life of fear or self-doubt? 

I got to my breaking point. I knew if I didn't try, I was walking the path towards suicide ideation. I could feel myself giving up a little more each day and I could feel my soul becoming more and more listless. I was depressed, anxious, angry and hateful. It literally felt like if I didn't try, didn't give myself a chance, that I was done for. I would be setting myself up for cataclysmic failure. And I couldn't face a future full of hopelessness, loneliness, despair and anger. I got out of that place because I had to at least give myself the opportunity to be successful, happy, find love and live a life that I could be proud of. Just to say that I tried. To be able to say I didn't give up.

What did you have to let go of in order to take the leap to move forward?

I had to give up on a relationship that I had invested 5 years in. A house (it had long since stopped being a home) that I had contributed thousands of dollars to and Comfortable Misery. That dark place I was in was a safe place. I knew what to expect. I knew what everything would always be like and there's security in that. But the tiny glimmer of hope that I had said if I just had a little faith I might have everything I ever wanted. I just had to jump. I had to trust that I could not just carry myself, but I could fly. As cliche as that is, it's the best analogy I have. Even though things happen that are hard or frustrating or make me want to scream, it's all still better than where I was. Every day is a conscious effort to make the most of everything. And to be grateful I'm not still in The Pit of Despair. That place really will take years off your life.

What did you find on the other side of fear that made it worth it?

I have found opportunity, connection, true friendships, continued learning, work that I enjoy, a feeling of purpose (even sometimes I feel like I'm still wandering and getting distracted by shiny things - that's what makes it fun, right?!). I've even started to learn what it's like to be treated well in a romantic relationship and what it means to be loved by someone.

What would you tell someone (or your former self) who still feels held back by fear or self-doubt?

It's ok. It is ok to be afraid, but you can't live there. Even if you don't achieve the first thing you thought you wanted, it'll take you on a path towards the thing that really sets your soul on fire. But most of all, maybe best of all, I've discovered that people want to help others succeed. They want to help you grow and achieve your goals. You just have to find them and not be afraid that they'll laugh at your starry eyed dreams of success, whatever it means to you. They'll be inspired by it just as much as you're inspired by their success. People like seeing other people happy and excited by possibility. The world has become so hopeless and apathetic in some ways that others get excited simply because you're excited. And they want to help you be successful. Even if all they can do is cheer you on and remind you that you're capable.

“It's ok.

It is ok to be afraid,

but you can't live there.”

Is there anything else you would like to share? 

If you ever find yourself in a relationship with someone who says they should kill themselves if you ever leave, or sell everything, quit their job and move back in with family, just know that's usually an empty threat. You need to do what's best for you and know you are not responsible for other people's actions.

And don't get me wrong, there are still days I'm terrified about having a flare up of my auto immune disorder and not having a second income and someone to act as my live-in nurse is absolutely terrifying. But I have to have faith that things will be ok. They might be hard, I might have days where my body stops working and I'll be forced to rely on friends to care for me, but I know that in the end, it's still better than being trapped. And it will be for you too.

You can do it. You are worthy. You are deserving. You are loved. Even when everything seems dark and hopeless, just know we're all here waiting for you and cheering for you. Let go of your fears, let go of your doubts. You were made for great things, now give them a chance to happen and watch your life transform.